We are taught by the intimate relationships of us that it is something more than being just about knowing the heart of our loved ones. Through them, we get to know ourselves also. Culturally, love is often viewed as something fuzzy that passes around making us feel the warmth inside. But we all know that only sometimes this happens while at other times there is frustration, confusion, and anxiety. John Gottman says that there is a difference of opinion between couples on never-ending unsolvable issues in 69% of the cases. Relationship problems are inevitable.
While a lot of us equal conflict to incompatibility conflicts experienced by most couples signal growth in their relationship. The lack of connectivity feeling in one of the partners may give rise to miscommunication between the couple. A sexless marriage might damage the integrity of a relationship. It may teach us to embody our deepest desires and truly want our partner thus experiencing life-changing intimacy. Intimate relationships can lay the foundation stone for profound vitality and growth. Abraham Maslow who created Maslow’s hierarchy of needs held the argument that when there is no bond of affection and love in a relationship; we fail to utilize our 100% potential to prove ourselves to be complete human beings.
On being let, our relationships can teach us profound lessons for life. If we do not allow these relationships to sink in, we are actually preventing a healthy relationship to blossom that would leave us stuck between an unsatisfactory relationship. Fruitful intimate relationships teach us to let our partner tell what we are doing wrong by swallowing our defensiveness and take a step ahead to a new arena of loving our partner.
Here are three profound lessons taught to us by intimate relationships:
Finding the right partner for us is not the key to a happy relationship, we from our end also need to be the right partner. Personal growth to a large extent is required here. Our relationship gives us the right opportunity to learn to control our defensiveness, reactions, and anger so that we can find ways of being affectionate and respectful of our partner’s differences. It lets our partner depend on us.
There is always a reason for rejecting anyone. There is an imperfection in every single human being which might cause us to push him or her away. Dumping a person means leaving a person. A couple needs to re-discover each other to make love last in their lives and stay together.
Feelings matter more than facts. A relationship consists of 2 roads of communication. There is a feeling as well as a fact. We habitually cling to facts regarding what is going on in our relationship. But feelings cannot be facts that can be fact-checked because feelings are emotions. While we communicate with our partner we must not miss the feeling as it is the feeling that really matters. We are taught by intimate relationships what is acceptable and what not. In case of a relationship problem with one close to our heart if we try to find out the lesson learned from this experience then we can realize that the powerful lessons of life are taught in our relationships.